The Power of Board Games: Increasing Social Emotional Learning and Connection Through Family Gaming

by Lucy Boles

Sometimes it feels impossible to set aside that ever-growing to-do list to slow down and play a board game with the kids. On top of that, family game nights often don’t unfold quite as smoothly as we have in mind. But making the time to play board games with family has tons of benefits for learning – in both children and adults – and for family relationships. (After all, families that play together stay together!) Let’s explore some of the reasons why board gaming is worth prioritizing.

Cognitive and Emotional Development

Board games help us grow, no matter how old we are. Board games have been shown to improve the cognitive abilities of both children and older adults, and the emotional benefits of board gaming are proven for all ages (Cès, Duflos & Giraudeau, 2024). Board gaming is unique in its ability to foster this mental growth because games matter to us but simultaneously have no real-life consequences. This aspect of the nature of play breaks down social walls and allows us to play more imaginatively, creating the perfect circumstances for children to build the mental capacity for increasingly complex cognitive processes as they grow up (Kupperman et al., 2006). Such cognitive processes include developing language, solving problems, testing hypotheses, and forming “scripts” and constructs based on cultural norms (Hromek & Roffey, 2009).

Emotional competencies – how people express, understand, experience, and regulate their and others’ emotions adaptively – are another piece of childhood development that board gaming forms in kids (Dell’Angela et al., 2020). Board games provide children with experience-based and active social-emotional learning that challenges them in their understanding, attention span, ability to control the gaming situation, and acquisition and practice of new skills, which can all be emotionally provocative for kids that are still exploring their emotions (Dell’Angela et al., 2020). Being exposed to these situations helps young kids learn coping skills and increase their frustration tolerance. Any parent of littles has some experience with temper tantrums, which losing at a game only exacerbates. Playing games with family – specifically the “taking turns” part – helps little kids learn social rules and how to play kindly and respectfully with others, which is precisely why it’s important to let kids learn how to lose well at home first, outside of a real-world situation (Cès, Duflos & Giraudeau, 2024). As this demonstrates, board gaming cultivates in children important values related to social life and emotional maturity, such as self-discipline, intrinsic motivation, collaboration, leadership, creativity, organization, time management, decisiveness, and resiliency, to name a few (Dell’Angela et al., 2020; Hromek & Roffey, 2009; Sousa, 2021).

The fun and positive emotions brought about by board games have several cognitive and emotional benefits as well. According to Hromek and Roffey (2009), the humor and fun that are part of the more relaxed gaming state stimulate the brain’s creativity in problem-solving, increase optimistic thinking, combat the physical effects of stress, and enhance physical and emotional resilience. Kupperman et al. (2006) write as well that because games are designed for fun, they are naturally inefficient; yet it is all the inconvenient obstacles that make games inefficient (and are the root of their fun) that we learn from the most. Fun is also a great motivator for kids, and it’s just…fun! Fun and play are inherently valuable within themselves – it’s in our human nature to want to play. Board games are great for scratching this itch because they allow us to play with low stakes, and there’s an endless supply of fun games for families.

Meaningful Family Connection

As we just explored, one of the things board gaming gives children is an opportunity to learn social dynamics – but it doesn’t just do that. Gaming with family also fosters social connectedness by deepening our relationships with those we play with. Family game nights can include children, parents, and grandparents (maybe even great-grandparents!), and playing a game together is a great way for people of all ages to connect. Cès, Duflos, and Giraudeau (2024) found that the positive emotions brought about by board gaming (like feeling accepted and recognized) play a role in decreasing adults’ stress levels, increasing psychological and physical well-being, and maintaining important family relationships. These researchers also say that board games allow parents, kids, and grandparents to communicate more, see from each others’ perspectives, and share emotions. Playing games together helps family members across generations emotionally bond because it gets them to know and understand each other more deeply, shrinking the intergenerational gap between them. Hromek and Roffey (2009) say that “the skills and language of positive relationships are shaped and guided in meaningful ways” by the kind of social learning board games promote.

Something that widens the intergenerational gap between kids and their grandparents – and even between kids and their parents – is technological differences. Kids nowadays spend an excessive amount of time sitting on screens, a reality their parents and grandparents didn’t grow up with. Board gaming as a family, then, is a fun way to redirect kids’ attention toward face-to-face interactions! It’s also a way to connect with teens who aren’t otherwise interested in talking. Gaming centers the family conversation around a common goal or friendly competition, which can finally break that ice a bit.

The Power of Board Games

Too often, life can get so busy and serious that we lose our ability to just enjoy each others’ company. And what a shame that is – even, and especially, when the world weighs heavily on us, deep family connections can make us feel lighter. Board gaming can do just that for us – having fun together can be our remedy for stagnancy and disconnectedness. So the next time family game night feels too unimportant to prioritize, remember that it might be just what you’re looking for. To get you started on your quest toward family connectedness, here are a few reviews of some favorite board games of mine…

Game Reviews

This part I figured we could talk more about. Got to figure out what games to review! (I’ve got a couple of starting suggestions:

• Codenames (good for teamwork-building)

• Werewolf (I know you guys love this one)

• Wingspan (I’ve just heard really good things about it, and it’s a more complex one)

• Love Letter (just a card game my dad and I love)

• Telestrations (super fun good for interactions between players)

Bibliography

Cès, P., Duflos, M., & Giraudeau, C. (2024). “I can’t wait to play with you again!”: Intergenerational board games within families. Family Relations, 74(1), 378–394. https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.13117

Dell’Angela, L., Zaharia, A., Lobel, A., Vico Begara, O., Sander, D., & Samson, A. C. (2020). Board games on emotional competences for school-age children. Games for Health Journal, 9(3), 187–196. https://doi.org/10.1089/g4h.2019.0050

Hromek, R., & Roffey, S. (2009). Promoting social and emotional learning with games. Simulation & Gaming, 40(5), 626–644. https://doi.org/10.1177/1046878109333793

Kupperman, J., Stanzler, J., Fahy, M., & Hapgood, S. (2006). Games, school and the benefits of inefficiency. The International Journal of Learning: Annual Review, 13(9), 161–168. https://doi.org/10.18848/1447-9494/cgp/v13i09/45022

Sousa, M. (2021). Serious board games: Modding existing games for collaborative ideation processes. International Journal of Serious Games, 8(2), 129–146. https://doi.org/10.17083/ijsg.v8i2.405