Make your relationship
not a chore.
a choice
Couples
Famed couples’ researcher John Gottman says that being in a successful relationship means that if you had a day off, one of the people you would want to spend it with is your partner. Expert David Snarch has different expectations, counseling that even decades-long relationships should aspire to maintain a high level of passion, which is earned through the maturing of two independent individuals choosing a partnership that pushes them to be better.
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One of the first things we will do is define the kind of relationship you want. After taking a full personal and couples’ history, we will explore the question of what you believe a healthy relationship would look like. Do you and your partner agree? Are you aspiring to the same type of relationship? What is realistic to expect from a long-term union?
Relying heavily on John and Julie Gottman’s work, with influences from Snarch and Emotionally Focused Therapy, we will take an inventory of your conflict patterns, the difficult communication “dance” that brought you to therapy. Rather than making your partner the adversary, we will aspire to make the unhealthy pattern our target. We will do this by slowing down and learning to hear your partner without interrupting, to listen more deeply so that you can better understand the aspirations that underlie the conflict you have been experiencing.
I invite you and your partner to contact me if you have any questions or if you would like to set up your first appointment.